How Far Can We Go In Physical Relationship?

Clearly, sexual intercourse is ' out '. But what about petting? Or Holding hands? Where do we draw the line? The Bible does not address itself to these specific questions. But it does give clear principles.

We must use our human reason as we work out what that means. Four key questions help us to do this:

Is this practice dangerous in any way?
Is it truly loving?
How does it affect us spiritually?
Is it natural?

Scale of touch

Genital Intercourse
Oral Sex
Mutual Masturbation
Heavy Petting
Petting
Prolonged Kissing
Kissing
Cuddling
Embracing
Holding hands

Genital Intercourse
We know that genital intercourse is not good but still have the people who practice it. We have already observed that the Bible's teaching on the context of sexual intercourse implies that Bible - observing Christians will draw the line below genital intercourse. That is, they will exclude it from their pre - marital experience. Thus the position is clear, though perhaps not welcomed to those who wish the Bible was not so definite. But what about the rest of the scale?

Oral Sex
Technically, oral sex is not full intercourse. Even though both partners may be brought to a climax, virginity is not lost. Is it then permissible or not?
Many people practice this because they no need to scare of any bad consequences like pregnant or AIDS, and at the same time they will feel good and reach the climax which they wants.

Mutual Masturbation
It often happens that two people who love each other agree to abstain from full genital intercourse, but, while with holding the final act, the penetration of the vagina by the penis, they stimulate one another's sex organs with the hands until each partner is brought to full orgasmic experience.

Heavy Petting
By heavy petting, I mean the practice of slipping your hands inside a girl's dress to fondle her breasts; or undoing the zip of your boyfriend's trousers to fondle his genitals; or stroking your girlfriend's thigh or genitalia. Heavy petting includes lying together in a state of undress from the waist upwards or fully naked; lying side by side or on top of one another.

Petting
By petting I mean fondling one another's breasts and genitals outside the clothes. I also mean any form of lying together. Included in petting comes prolonged kissing: any kiss which is more than a leisurely peck and particularly any kiss which involves that highly sensitive organ, the tongue.

In April 1986, Buzz magazine commissioned a nationwide survey on Christians' attitudes to sex. Over 2000 readers returned a full and frank questionnaire. A fifth of these were married. Asked what advice these Christian married couples would give to courting couples; nine couples out of ten said:

DON'T HAVE INTERCOURSE BEFORE MARRIAGE
DON'T GET INVOLVED IN HEAVY PETTING EITHER

In many ways, these married couples seem to have been preaching to the converted. 99% of single Christians admitted that they wanted to wait until marriage for sex and two thirds also wanted to save heavy petting until their wedding night. Suddenly, it seems ' No' has become a fashionable word.